It’s April Fools’ Day! That means two things: First, only about 10% of people will properly format “April Fools’ Day” (it’s not “Fool’s”), and second, a whole lot of brands are issuing fake press releases. They might be fun to read but are a minor nightmare for news outlets, who need to distinguish between the real and the not-so-real.
Or they can just throw up their hands and report on all the jokes. Hey, that still counts as content, right? In any case, here’s some of the best April Fools’ Day news for free-to-play games we’ve found today.
War Thunder is lowering its age rating to 4+., with a cartoony “new visual style and physics model are already in production.”
As if CRSED: FOAD. wasn’t a joke enough already, the former Cuisine Royale will let players build the Leaning Tower of Pisa in-game because “some players literally can’t fight to the death without initially building a bunch of skyscrapers.” Oh, and you can use your farts as a jetpack. We think that one’s fake, but with this game, you never know.
Choya are running rampant in Guild Wars 2 — that’s really in the game, but the patch notes definitely aren’t. “To respect quiet hours, Shout skills may no longer be used between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. Tyrian time.”
Spellcrisps are the new brand of chips inspired by Spellbreak and coming in six tantalizing flavors, including “Spicy Pyro” and “Lime Slime.”
To celebrate Chapter 2's upcoming April 8 launch, we're dropping a limited edition snack to fuel your exiles!
Feast your eyes…SPELLCRISPS! Available at major grocers.
Which flavor do you favor? pic.twitter.com/LRs24jRoi6
— Spellbreak (@PlaySpellbreak) April 1, 2021
We’re not sure exactly how you get Bob the Bartender’s card in Hearthstone, but he’d probably get polymorphed as soon as he hits the table anyway.
Introducing Bob in card form! 🍻
Though he won’t join your Collection, he will always have your back. 😉 pic.twitter.com/3UvDrRmWPP
— Hearthstone (@PlayHearthstone) April 1, 2021
I don’t even need to follow up on this “simplified version of Dreadnought” link. I’ll let you discover it for yourself.
ATTENTION CAPTAINS – We have deployed the Simplified version of Dreadnought. Download it now on PC or PlayStation. We're looking forward to your feedback!
— Dreadnought (@playdreadnought) April 1, 2021
Want another online CCG? Of course you do, don’t deny it.
We have decided to scrap the real-time aspect of Slapshot to fix the latency issues by reworking it into a turn-based card game. Slapshot: Rebound: The Card Game.
Trailer below. Yes it's an image, that's all it needs. No fancy "video" required. pic.twitter.com/K3qZX99zyQ
— Slapshot: Rebound (@Slapshotgg) April 1, 2021
Finally, Riot Games went into overdrive with its Valorant gags today. There’s the new definition of “butterfly knife,” below, and check out Patch Notes 33 1/3. “Fixed a bug that was allowing players to climb out of their current rank.”
We've heard your feedback, and like with all of our skins we try to carefully craft an alternate thematic fantasy for our skin sets instead of just doing what's expected. With that, we are happy to present to you the first VALORANT butterfly knife!!@PlayVALORANT pic.twitter.com/F1kDFuZO1l
— Sean Marino (@oniram177) April 1, 2021
(That butterfly knife, though? That actually seems pretty cool.)